


Half of Me

by Know_Your_Paradoxes



Category: Original Work
Genre: Ambiguity, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Child Loss, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Loss, Originally Posted Elsewhere, Short, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-29 07:08:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6364339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Know_Your_Paradoxes/pseuds/Know_Your_Paradoxes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A story I wrote on Twine, and I transferred it here.</p><p>Podfic of it here: https://know-your-paradoxes.bandcamp.com/track/half-of-me</p>
            </blockquote>





	Half of Me

Sometimes you wonder when it will ever stop.

Maybe it never Will.

Will.

Your son. His name was Will.

He's all you care about.

You don't want to talk about it. It was already heartbreaking enough to lose him once and have to constantly remember it.

Whatever IT is, you hate it's fucking guts.

IT was what took your son away from you. IT ruined your entire fucking life. If you ever saw IT again, you don't know what you would do.

"I do," you had remembered. Your son had asked you if you loved him, and this was your answer. And you had meant it.

Will looked at you and smiled with that goofy grin of his that you could never resist.

You resist the urge to begin replaying the scene of how you lost him again in your mind.

Not again.

Never again.

Not if you have any say in the matter.

Hell, maybe this doesn't even matter anyway.

You don't give a damn.

You are getting your son back from IT, at whatever cost.

The cost, in fact, was your son's life.

You would take IT's life happily if it meant that you could get Will back.

There is no turning back now.

You are so close. You can feel it in your bones.

You hope that by the time all is said and done, IT has a couple of bones broken.

There were so many promises between you and IT. All of them broken as soon as IT took Will away from you.

This is no time for introductions.

Actually, there's really nothing you want to say about yourself, other than that you should be locked up for the horrific thoughts you inflict upon IT sometimes.

Sometimes you wonder if this will all stop.

Maybe it never will.

And maybe once you go face-to-face with IT, you'll change your mind and come crawling back, like you always do.

IT knows how to get inside your head.

You want to stop thinking.

You can't stop thinking.

You NEED to stop thinking.

You won't stop thinking.

Maybe you could free her from IT. At the very least, get her back from the clutches of whatever hell she's living in.

You can tell that despite everything, she's still hidden somewhere inside.

You come home to IT every evening. IT won't leave you alone, mocking you about how it killed one of the only things in your life that brought you any form of joy and kidnapped another.

Another argument. Another constellation of bruises for you.

You know you can't defeat IT, no matter how hard you try.

But despite knowing that you can't defeat IT, you still try.

Because the truth is, you can't afford to not care anymore.

You should tell IT that you won't take it's bullshit anymore.

You SHOULD, but you WON'T.

Will? Or won't?

You never could tell.

You tell IT to fuck off and let you sleep.

IT refuses to let you sleep.

Sleep has become much less of a common thing for you since IT invaded your every thought.

You're a bit of an insomniac now, you suppose.

You haven't slept for three days in a row.

Row...

You have an idea.

You hug your wife just before you leave.

You get in your car and drive until you get to the nearest lake.

As you park, you begin having second thoughts about this plan, but you decide that there's no going back.

Nothing is going to stop you from finally relieving the pain that's going on inside your head.

...

...

...

...

Finally.

IT was always you.


End file.
